Given the horror movie, the 2016 presidential election was, it’s hard to imagine how the 2020 election could be worse until you realise it’s almost guaranteed that Trump is going to run for election and win the republican primary making him one of the major candidates and the democrats lack any good candidates with similar name recognition which this election has proved a key resource for winning even if it is negative name recognition.
The 2020 primaries will be the last chance for neoliberal democrats to retain their dominance of the party as populists challenges from progressives,berniecrats and justice democrats increase in force due to the election. Big business republicans will have to fight desperately for survival as challenges from the alt-right and populist increase as Trumps creates more election fervour. The 2020 election will be the biggest challenge the moderate establishment has faced in its history as it’s under a two-pronged attack from both sides of the political spectrum.
As the divides present in America continues to grow and the two halves of the country become increasingly estranged from each there is no plausible candidate that have the ability to unite them as all plausible candidates lack the charisma required or the unblemished record. Here I will go through the various candidates that are plausible candidates for the next election and why they all suck.
The Candidates and Why They Suck
1. Donald J. Trump
Who is he? Unless you have been living under a rock in the middle of the Sahara desert, you have probably heard of Donald Trump. Asshole billionaire and current president of the United States of America
What’s good about him? He won the last presidential election despite being the most unpopular candidate in history in a record upset. He also has some surprisingly decent plans about infrastructure and also prevented Ted Cruz from being president.
Why does he suck? Far too many reasons to list but here’s a short overview
- Being an asshole
- Being a scammer
- Becoming president despite losing the popular vote by 2 million votes
- Being a conspiracy theorist
- Tweeting too much
- Terrible Manner of talking
- Unable to admit to being wrong
- Puppet of Putin
- Being an asshole racist conspiracy theorist
- Inventing “Alternative Facts”
- has terrible taste in hotels
- has terrible management practices
- is a terrible businessman
- Rewards loyalty over competence
- lacks any loyalty
- Has no experience
- Condones sexual assault
The source for this is all of last year’s election coverage and Donald Trumps twitter
2. Ted Cruz
Who is he? Ted Cruz is possibly the only candidate more disliked outside of his support base than Donald Trump and unlike Trump, his supporters don’t post on the internet. Disliked by fellow republicans and hated by democrats and all-around asshole. While Donald trump is the used-car salesman kind of the asshole, Ted Cruz is simply the regular one with a mask of normal politician over it
Why is he good? Will Challenge Donald Trump and hopefully bleed of his support among evangelicals.
Why is he bad? Unlike Trump, he truly believes what he says and will work hard to achieve his twisted theocratic vision of America while trump will just delegate the job to people who implement that vision. He is also the zodiac killer
- Nobody likes him except briefly Donald Trump
- Hates Gays and hopes they die from AIDS on a personal level
- Is a serial killer
- Backstabs people the minute it benefits his
- His roommate got invited to parties because people felt sorry that he was living with ted Cruz
- Is hypocritical
- Has a lot of baggage
- Backstabbed Trump but after it hurt him he turned around and campaigned for him
- Lacks intelligence but has a lot of animal cunning
3. Steven Bullock
Who is he? The least famous candidates in the running for 2020 which is an advantage as he lacks any of the baggage of the other candidates. He is also the Democratic governor of Montana who fought the hardest against the Citizen United.
Why is he good? He is both a moderate due to his credentials as a red-state democrat while being incredibly liberal on all issues outside of gun control. He might be able to reunite the progressives with his opposition to citizen united and the white working class due to his blue collar background preventing a schism in the democrats and allowing them to defeat Trump. He also lacks the baggage that the other candidates possess due to him being a relatively clean local politician.
He won the absolute majority of the vote, in a state that Hillary Clinton lost by 20 points showcasing his excellent presentation skills.
Why is he bad? He has about as much charisma as Hillary Clinton and due to his status as a local politician, A bit of investigation could turn up something looks like corruption at the drop of a hat. He is also pro-gun control which might alienate the democratic base in NY and California slowing down or even stopping the continued blueing of these states.
He also doesn’t excite people into a movement like Bernie did due to lack many radical views or have any historical significance like Hillary did which will make the recruitment of staffers difficult. He is also the epitome of a boring candidate who almost always fail against populist demagogy.
4. Elizabeth Warren
Who is she? The progressive Idol and longtime senator from Massachusetts is a possible candidate for the 2020 election. She might bridge the gap between the establishment and the progressive branch of the party as both parts of the party tolerate her. Her attack dog style of confrontational debate has made her many enemies and her progressive record
Why she is good? She is part of the democratic establishment while also being acceptable to the progressive and establishment due to her progressive credits. She is also an attack dog and famous for being aggressive on the senate floor preventing accusation of inactivity that was used against Hillary Clinton
Why she is bad? She got quite a lot of baggage and is unlikely to make any inroads with the white working class demographics that the democrats require to deafete trump in 2020. Her status as an attack dog with a radical platform makes her unable to attract any republican support. This combined her inability to appeal to the white working class will prove fatal to her electoral prospects
5. Julian Castro